Saturday, October 13, 2012

"I don't get it, I mean where all the other dead people in the world?"

With Halloween quickly approaching, I've been watching alot of movies that are related to it in some way. I am not a religious person, but like almost everyone, I cannot help but wonder what happens to us after we leave this world. So many movies have depicted "the afterlife" in so many ways, and I am constantly trying to guess which one could be the most accurate (assuming there IS an afterlife) or which one I would like it to be.

One of the first movies I remember watching that depicts the afterlife in a very specific, and very imaginative way is "Beetlejuice." When Barbara and Adam Maitland enter the waiting room to see their case manager, they see first-hand how personal each person's own afterlife is. Each person appears as an exaggerated version of how he/she looked upon their death. For example, there's the really crispy dude:

He says he's trying to cut down on the cigs, so I assume that he died because he fell asleep smoking and burned hisself up.

And then there's this chick:

A beauty queen of some sort, who slit her wrists. She must have been the runner-up.

I always assumed that these people looked horrendous in the afterlife as punishment for their bad habits (smoking and suicide, respectively). After all, Barbara and Adam Maitland were trapped in their car and drowned, but they look perfectly normal.

So, bad people look awful in the afterlife, but good people look normal. But what about that poor magician's assistant? You remember, the one who was sawed in half, and gets her legs felt up by Beetlejuice:

She seems to have been the unfortunate victim of an inexperienced performer, so why doesn't she get her legs restored to her in the afterlife? And furthermore, how does she get around all those long twisting, tilty hallways if her head isn't attached to her legs? Maybe she does deserve to be sawed in half forever; maybe she revealed the magician's secrets and this is how he silenced her.

So assuming my theory is true, that good people get to retain their normal appearance, and bad people look like a Tim Burton creation in the afterlife, I wonder what I am going to look like. I think I have an idea:

"Tell 'em, Large Marge sent ya!"

I'm not sure which look would be the bigger punishment.

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